Home of my Thoughts !!

Relaxed Moments

2011-08-29T12:23:00.002+05:30

Atishay Jain, Sandeep Sharma and Rahul Dwivedi at Vastrapur, Ahmedabad June 2011

Relaxed Moments

2011-04-27T10:40:00.000+05:30

Crucifixion of Truth

2011-04-22T10:24:00.005+05:30

Truth will be punished.
People will throw stones and they will spit on it.

When truth will bleed, people will laugh.
When truth will scream in pain, they will dance.
When truth will try to say something, they will not listen to it.

They will bring a Crown of Thorns for it.
Truth will not cry but it will smile and love and bless.

They will crucify the truth
But it will never die but spread the light and love.

Goa Trip 20-24th Feb 2011

2011-04-21T16:15:00.005+05:30

वर्षगांठ

2010-07-25T13:08:00.000+05:30

समय अपनी ही गति से चलता है, इसीलिए जो कार्य जिस समय पर कर लिए जाने चहिये, उन्हें सही समय पर कर ही लेना ठीक होता है.

परिस्थितिया विपरीत हो सकती है, पर अगर संघर्ष जारी है, तो परिस्थितियों को दोष देना मात्र बहाना बनाना जैसा है.

इस वर्ष मैं उन कार्यो को आगे बढ़ाऊंगा, जिनमे कोई प्रगति नहीं है.
जो रुक गए है
अपने जीवन में कुछ नयापन लाना तो मेरा हमेशा प्रयास रहता है, पर अब इसमें गति और सुनिश्चितता लाने पर भी ध्यान देना होगा.

Hate

2009-09-12T18:05:00.007+05:30

Summer 1944, Germany
Starved & Bloodless pale body was hanging up side down with a rope from hours. It was not dead because I was still inside; confined in the cage of flesh and bones. Amount of blood accumulated in my cranium and eyes. I was almost blind. I couldn’t feel any movement in my legs and chest. Numbness dwelled everywhere in my body. Pangs of pains were unbearable which were rising from wounds. I had been beaten badly by German Nazi soldiers from last 14 days. I was just hanging up side down in the same position without food and water.

I was remembering my mother who was crying when I saw her last time. Soldiers were beating her mercilessly for her existence as a Jew. I was so helpless that I could only scream aloud.

Thousands of my kith and kin had been sacrificed in Tiergartenstraβe 4. They had been cut into uncountable pieces for medical examinations. Social hygiene is the name of their hatred for Jews which has nothing to do with society and its welfare. They enjoy killing people and love their cry.

Political prisoners of World War II that includes soviet & Jews prisoner, Gypsies, homophile, Journalists and people with disabilities were participating in this largest historical holocaust of human civilization. Outspoken journalists were the main target. Nazi soldiers tortured these journalists by all possible ways and eventually killed them by inhuman means. These journalists used to get nominal amount of uneatable food & water in the intervals of days. They have lost their identity and become one bare body in which skeleton is clearly visible through skin. All fat has already consumed by their own body in malnutrition.

It was difficult to identify one another, all shaven head looked similar. People were enforced to wear mandatory badges of shame. These badges were triangular in shape and different colors did separate them from the mass. For instance red colored triangular badge was for communists and political prisons, similarly green for criminals, pink for homophiles, purple for Jehovah’s witnesses, black for Gypsies and yellow for Jews.

This was a hell, where no body would ever wish to come again. They used to call it Concentration camp. This term concentration camp was first used by British concentration camp of second anglo-boer war. Nazi Concentration camp is a program of killing all those who were not worth living according to the Nazi principles. Social eugenics is the most significant agenda of Nazi party. Actually eugenics is a science in which good and healthy genes are encouraged to multiply through reproduction and unhealthy genes are killed anyways.

They want to kill all the Jews around the world because of their hate for them. And they are sacrificing other unwanted unholy people like Journalists and Gypsies in this mass killing.

When I was arrested along with my family, I was thoroughly unaware about how they would treat us. They kept us in Central jail in Berlin for some days and one day suddenly they pushed us inside a train which was already overcrowded with people. Officers were so cruel; they were putting hundreds of people in the place of capacity of 50 people. They were not listening to any one; they were beating and pushing the people inside the train mechanically. And finally they closed the iron doors from outside.

We were totally unaware where this train was going; it was complete dark inside the train. People were crying and screaming in pain, but there was no body to listen to them. Conditions were inhuman. After three days when soldiers opened the gates of the train some people had died of dehydration and some because they were beaten badly. Majority of them could not breathe and they died.

They separated the crowd of survivals into men and women. Shaved the heads of young girls and made them worker. Women raped, tortured and hurt by Nazi officers. That was the last moment when I saw my mother, she was crying.

Then all men sent to different chambers for Nazi treatment.

We spent 14 days in those chambers.
And it was my 14th Day.
It was the turn of Green and Yellow badge bearers.
Nazi officers were deciding our death.

Poisonous gas would be the easiest thing to end up this lot of use less men that would save both the time and the bullets। And we all pushed into a small cell which was the eye witness of several deaths. There was no oxygen, it was all poison there. I was holding my chest. My lungs were about to burst. Trickle of blood was running from my nose, others were vomiting blood. I was getting unconscious and it was all dark around after a few second.

*****************************************

Autumn 1983 Bamyan, Afghanistan

When I opened my eyes again; my mother was standing before me, she was wearing dark blue bur'qa. It was not difficult to recognize her, though I could only see her eye. Her deep brown eyes were full of fear. She was still crying, she was trying to help me.

I was beaten badly by Talibs. Talibs - The students of Islam. There was a bullet inside my right leg; my mother was trying to call somebody, so that I can survive. But Talibs do not want to, because we are Shi’a.

Mujahideen are in power, and Marxist’s PDPA has completely wiped off from Afghanistan. This is a new world which has created by America to continue it’s domination in south Asia. Mujahideen are devastating everything, no one smiles but those Talibs who love to see people cry. Happiness has vanished from Afghanistan. Russians have gone.

Talibs are in favor of Sharia which does not allow woman to speak loudly, to sing or to do any thing they want to do independently. School & Colleges has locked; Cinema halls and music stores have burnt. Mujahideen are against modernity, they thrown off the Russians from Pashtun land by American bullets & tanks. America, Pakistan and all Arabian countries has supported Mujahideen, and now it’s playing naked game of blood and death.

Pashtun dislike Shi’a, Uzbek, Tajik and Hazara. And Sunni Islamists are determined to wipe them off from Afghanistan. No body would remain alive; they would kill these species completely.

Talibs had decided my punishment; they would throw stones on me till I died. According to Islamic rules I had committed a sin; & it was a punishment which had been suggested in holy Qur’an. I was a teacher and I was in the favor of women education. I taught them, through private tuitions after they restricted women education.

Day approached, and they were ready for the ceremony. I was sitting among the mass of Sunni Talibs; they were holding sharp stones in their hands. They were giving warning to others that “everyone should follow Sharia, otherwise ...”

As speech finished, they all shouted in one voice Allah hoo Akbar
& they started to throw stones on me which broke my bones.
One big stone hit my head and I collapsed on my place.
I lost my consciousness.
***********************************************
Winters, Thane 2008 India

I was growing from my unconscious state; some known-unknown sounds were helping me to wake up.

As I opened my eyes, I saw some strong people holding Red-Saffron flags in their hands, Saffron Tilak on their forehead and dangerous arms with them. They were repeating Jai Maharashtra, Jai Maharashtra!!

They were beating North Indians especially people from Bihar. Marathi’s had already burnt houses of north Indians and destroyed their source of earning to solve their political purpose.

Bahujan Samaj Party & Samajwaadi Party which has domination in state of Uttar Pradesh were trying to capture the great vote bank of schedule cast & Schedule tribe of Maharashtra. And it has added the fire to the hatred towards the people of Bihar and Uttar Pradesh in the heart of Marathi’s.

I’m a Bihari; I came here to Mumbai to earn money so that I can treat my mother’s illness. We are farmers and we have enough land to cultivate enough money for my family. But Mother Nature is not allowing us to grow plants, last year it was dangerous flood when I lost everything in that, and this year it has a great drought.

My family is still in Bihar; they are malnourished. They need medical treatment. This was the cause I had to leave my motherland and had to come to Mumbai to earn some money so that my family can survive.

But Marathi’s do not want to share their bread and butter with any one, they hate us. They want to kill all of us. They had warned us to leave the place but how could I go, what would I do their, how would I give medical support to my family?

It was riot going on; people with saffron flags were killing us, beating women and young children. I was beaten badly by Marathi’s while I was protesting against them. They had burnt my belongings, seized my harden money.

They were again coming to me now, with the necked sward this time.
I was not trying to save myself.
Because I want to die to never born again, this earth is full of hatred. Religions, Rituals and believes nurture this hatred among people. They day when this world would be free of God, Gurus, Religions, Casts and absurd believes; this world would become the right place to live in. Till that time I really don’t want to born in here. I can not carry this rotten life any more.

One of them hit the sward on my neck with full force and a wave of huge pain thrown me into the zero.

I was going down deep and deep, don’t know where.
But it was peace and delight.
Delight of different sort.

२३ जुलाई २००९

2009-07-22T20:14:00.003+05:30

समाप्ति के बाद विश्लेषण इसलिए किया जाता है, ताकि भविष्य में जो नए कार्य किये जाए उनमे विफलता का प्रतिशत कम हो.. इस समय मैं अपने पिछले वर्षो का विश्लेषण करता हूँ. परिणाम प्राप्त होने में कुछ अधिक समय समय लग सकता है .. किन्तु ये निश्चित है की मैं उन कार्यो को नहीं दोहराऊंगा, जिन्हें करके मुझे ही पीढा हुई. उन व्यवहारों को जीवन का अंग बनाना चाहूँगा, जिनसे मैं प्रभावित हूँ

Atishay is a Gujarati Name !!

2009-05-08T13:22:00.003+05:30

Lonely Night Part 2

2009-02-12T15:26:00.010+05:30

This story is Fictitious and it has no resemblance with any living or dead person, place or incidence. Please go through First Part before Reading this story http://atishayjain.blogspot.com/2008/07/i-was-not-alone-that-night.html

Heat of redden firewood were giving godly relief in that icy cold night of Lohri. Blend of riotous loud sound of drums and Punjabi folk songs made people dance. People were dancing in a circle around the bonfire and kicking up clouds of dust; eating and burning Lai, Rewdi & Pea Nuts in fire. Lovers were holding their hands and eyes of singles were finding someone.
“I was wishing if that Two Black dark eyed and rosy cheeked Kashmiri girl were here with me”.

After that unfortunate night, when I lost her in college fest; I tried to search her at every possible place, asked everyone; but she was a missed pearl in sea. I never got any information about her.

“Would I get my Love back” I was throwing pea nuts in the fire with this single thought in my mind. & My hostel warden broke the flow of my thoughts and caught me off from the crowd of dancers and gave me a pink envelop.

“You are so irregular; you never collect your posts on time. Be regular. Take this letter, some one has sent this from Kashmir.” Warden scolded.

From Kashmir?
Who would send me a latter from Kashmir?
Surprise!
I investigated that envelop, my name was written in neat handwriting on the front. Sender’s name was not mentioned; only the name of the place was there.

Verinag, Kothar district, Kashmir

Curiosity and hope accelerated my heart beat. I was sure that this letter is written by the same dark eyed and rosy cheeked girl. I left this holy festive fair which gave me everything in a minute, in search of privacy.

My room was on second floor in new boy’s hostel, 218 was the room number. My room mat RD was as usually not there and this situation was as ideal as I was expecting. I opened the pink envelop, but...
What’s this?

It was written in some unknown language, it was difficult to decipher.
“I am sure it is written in Kashmiri, my friend Arohi kachru who belongs to state of J & K can help me in understanding the language.” I thought.

I dialed his number and asked him to come immediately. After 5 min he was in my room.
He read that letter and translated for me.

My Dear
Che Mashravun chu mushkil.
Me chuy che vanum keh.
Be Praray che chodah fervery doh.
Jhelum Garden, Verinag,
Kothar district, Kashmir

My Dear
It is difficult to forget you.
Can we meet again?

I want to say you some thing.
Please come.

I’ll wait for you on 14th February.
Jhelum Garden, Verinag,
Kothar District, Kashmir

I was speechless; eyes were wide and breaths irregular. It was difficult to realize that it was true. “I would go there at any cost.” I shouted.

“You should not go there, it’s not safe. Tension on border has increased and internal freedom movement in Kashmir is getting aggressive every day.” Arohi Suggested.
“I don’t care about anything, I’ll go there” I replied.

********************************************************************
I took direct bus to Srinagar via Jammu from ISBT [Kashmiri Gate] New Delhi and then to Verinag which is situated 78 KM away from Srinagar in Kothar district. Bus creeps with Jhelum all the way. Beauty of pine trees and snow covered white hills nourish both the eyes. I was feeling the presence of those two Dark eyes and Rosy cheeks everywhere. I was near her, I was on her land. Some Kashmiri women were humming some folk song in that bus, which made that moment so beautiful.

ya tuli khanjar teh maaray,
nata saani shabba rozay

Almost in 2 hours I was in Verinag. People say that Jhelum is originated from this place. Jhelum Garden was just 10 steps away from the bus station beside Jhelum River.

It was not difficult to recognize her; she was sitting beside the only fountain on the wooden bench. As she saw me she stood up and put her steps forward in hurry and became steady again. Tears rolled out on her cheeks, and she tried to say some thing.
But she could not.
I stopped her, hold her hand, wipe out her tears and asked-

“Tsa Kits Chhuk?”
“Buchus theek” She replied and burst in laughter..
“So you have learnt Kashmiri?” She said.

“Yes, for you.”
“You don’t know how painful it was to live without you. Why you did not inform me before going? “Why you never talked to me?”
She was seeing in my eyes continuously. We were so close to each other. It was like a dream.

“Ssshhhh” She said and gave me a red rose in my hands.
“I Love You”
“I love you too, more than my life.”

I know that you love me otherwise no body would come to Kashmir for a stranger.

Even I know you don’t know my name, isn’t it..?
“Yes” I answered.
“My name is Aasma, I’m a Kashmiri pandit. I was doing M.Sc. in Biotechnology from Amity University, while I saw you.”
“And I know everything about you Aeti” She amazed me.

Then why you left Amity? Why you left me alone? I asked.
“It’s a long story Aeti….
Ok…I think it’s the right time to tell you everything.”

“I am sure you are aware of the socio-political status of Kashmir valley. Tension is everywhere in Vally & this tension started during the time of division of India and Pakistan and never ended but got bad to worse. Kashmir was an independent state which never wanted to merge in India or Pakistan but wanted to come out as an Independent democratic nation. It was Kashmir’s bad luck that half the country is taken by India and other half by Pakistan. Both by force.”

What are you talking about? J & K is an indistinguishable part of India, and it can not be separated from it. I argued.

"You are talking the same language what you have been taught by government of India. Truth is beyond this. In 1947 when British rule ended, they proposed two nations, one was Union of India and another was Dominion of Pakistan. British Government left this decision on all the princely states that they can go with any of the two countries. Kashmir was biggest princely state which had predominantly Muslim population and ruled by a Hindu ruler Raja Hari singh. Hindu raja was reluctant to merge in Pakistan and people wanted to go with Pakistan. There was a huge population which was against the merger of Kashmir into any country; they were fighting for a free state. In October 1947 when Pakistani tribal entered into the Kashmir to liberate it from the rule of a Hindu, Raja Hari Singh signed one Accession with Government of India which was to protect Kashmir from foreign attacks till final fate of Kashmir is decided. Kashmir issue could not be resolved till the life of Raja Hari Singh and after him it became a disputed issue. It’s merely a political issue which could be solved long back if India and Pakistan wished to resolve it".

"Kashmir is still ruled by two foreign countries, it needs freedom. One political mistake made several lives hell. Thousands of soldiers are killed on borders every year on the name of the country. Uncountable people tortured, raped and humiliated since that time. I born and brought up among the sound of bullets and tanks. Islamic and Hindu extremists attack on each other’s people and places of worship; Islamic separatists killed several Kashmiri pandits. Majority of remaining Kashmiri pandits have migrated to else where. Religious riots and bomb blasts are common in Kashmir".

"I am among those people who want a separate Independent democratic Kashmir. I have joined J & K Liberation front which is fighting the war of freedom for Kashmir by Non-violent ways. Now I have given my life to freedom of Kashmir. Some people have to sacrifice their lives to get rid of this polluted environment; only then we can give free Kashmir to next generations".

So, for this freedom movement you left the college? You can join it even after you finish your college…can’t you? Tell me why you left the college all of a sudden? I said.

This time she was sad when she started to speak, she said-
“My father was a big leader and a freedom fighter. During his time he made several efforts for freedom of Kashmir. He was assassinated on the same day when we were celebrating our college fest. I had to leave the college on the same night when it was raining heavily. It was the most unfortunate moment of my life when I received the news of his assassination. I am the only daughter and after him I’ll fulfill his dreams. My life is not that significant as this freedom movement.”

“Your Life is significant for me. But I respect your priorities of life. Do whatever you wish to do, and I’ll be with you ever. You are mine and I’ll wait for you till your dreams come true.” I said.

She smiled and it was a great relief on her face. It was still difficult to believe that we were together. It was difficult to believe that I was with my dark eyed and rosy cheeked Kashmiri Aasma.
***********************************

Vanquished Struggler

2009-02-04T10:22:00.006+05:30

He is concluding his life along with the ruin of his time.
His forlorn yearnings of aged years would be forgotten.
His sufferings would never pay off.
He squandered his life.
People laugh on him.

Longings takes shape, is doubtful.
He proved failure of unseen future and his deeds.
Though, he never tried to go against the flow.
But he could never flow.
Stagnancy made him foul.
I feel pity on his breath.
I teach him revolt, I teach him shout.
Because, I fear for my life which imitates him.
I would not schedule my life.

I am not sure about it.

My colleagues

2009-01-31T08:39:00.012+05:30

My colleagues from Cadila Pharmaceuticals Ltd. [L to R] Mr. Satyasheesh Gargary, Dr. Abhishek Kurne, Dr. Anurag Agarwal, Himanshu Jaiswal, Pushkar Gupta, Mr.Ketul Joshi, Mr.P.Dave and me on Dr.Ravi Tiwari's son's Birthday Party [Jan 21st, 2009] at Grand Bhagwati, Ahmedabad.

'Tis Hanukkah

2008-12-24T12:35:00.017+05:30

Season time is back, eastern sky is full of brightest stars and the Three Magi* are about to reach to their destination with bag full of precious gifts after a long journey. Hanukkah* is spreading Light and Synagogues* have become alive and musical. Story of Jim Dillingham Young and his wife Della have renewed my joy of festivity.
Today, I remember my Christmas tree which my mom used to make for me & my brother late nights by colorful papers and oddments of ornaments. Santa used to drop gifts rapped up in ultramarine glittering papers for both of us beneath this Christmas tree, when we used to be unconscious in deep slumber. It was the greatest delight to collect our gift in early morning, though, I knew Santa never comes and my father brings these gifts for both of us from the market but we never questioned about the gifts to papa.
Some times bro and I used to fight to pick one beautifully rapped up gift out of two; we wanted to pick up bigger gift because condition was “Anyone-can-Pick-anyone-Gift"

And my bro used to compromise every time, because I used to do all investigations before accepting my gift and open it.

I remember one Christmas when Santa disappointed both of us.
It was as joyous Noel as any others; it was full of excitement and vigor. Christmas tree was there, rapped up gifts were there.
But when we opened our gifts...
Oh!! Where is my gift?
It was full of dry fruits like cashew and dry grapes.
I said “I won’t accept this, I want something else, I know Santa does not come and papa brings gift for us.”
Mom said “we are really sorry; papa has forgotten to bring gifts for you, tell me what you want?
“Now I don’t want anything” I said.
I spent that day in annoyance and did not talk to my parents properly.
Became Intransigent.
..............................
I feel sorry for that incidence today; that day I did really not know how much pain, I was giving to my parents. I really could not understand their gift which was full of Love and sweetness.
My mom & dad are very innocent and true, I wish to God if I could give them all happiness of life. That would be the greatest gift for me. That would be my gift of Noel*.

*Hanukkah is a festival of light celebrated by Jews.

*Three Magi were the three kings who came to celebrate birth of Jesus from far east, after seeing the bright star in the sky.

*Synagogue is a place where Jews go for Prayers.

* Noel is another name for Christmas.

मैं एक विचार हूँ ..

2008-12-06T09:13:00.026+05:30

मैं एक विचार हूँ

गतिशील, प्रवाहयुक्त
मुझमें वेग है, ओज है
स्वयं से प्रभावित एवं ओतप्रोत हूँ
यह प्रभाव व्यक्तिगत है
इस जीवन मैं ठहराव न आवे ऐसी प्रेरणा है

मुझमें प्रकाश की जैसी गति है,
मैं उत्सुक हूँ, व्याकुल हूँ
मुझमे सभी कुछ तो है, बैर भी है, प्रेम भी, क्रोध भी और तिरस्कार भी है
मुझमें शब्द भी है, परिवर्तन भी
मैं विचार हूँ
संकल्प भी हूँ, सफलता भी, विद्रोह भी
असीमित भी हूँ, सजग भी, कर्महीन भी
मुझमें स्वर भी है, अश्रु भी
मैं एक विचार हूँ

प्राचीनता की हत्या करता, नवीनता को जन्म देता हूँ
मैं असंतुष्ट हूँ, सदैव से हूँ,
किन्तु विस्मृत स्मृती में संतुष्ट और प्रेमी जान पड़ता हूँ
विलक्षणता मेरा स्वभाव है, जो अन्यो के लिए भार है,
असहनीय है
इसी तरह से मेरा जीवन भी बाधित है उन विचारो से जो विदेशी है, अपरिचित है
मेरा जीवन उस क्षण समाप्त हो जायेगा, जब नवीन विचारधाराये मुझसे मिलेंगी
जब मैं अपने अतिरिक्त कुछ और ही हो जाऊंगा

स्वयं का विनाश पाप है
नवनिर्माण के लिए उपलब्ध की बलि देना अनावश्यक है
नित्यता को भंग करना साहस का काम है, सामान्य के लिए उपलब्ध नहीं है
असामान्यता एक विलक्षणता है
विचार को अग्निसह कर देना आसन है,
प्रवाहित होते रहने देना जटिल है
नित्यता क्यों है?
क्योकि आसन है, संघर्ष रहित है
व्यक्ति और विचार एक ही पथ पर क्यों चलते है,
क्योकि पूर्वज सफल हुए,
सुरक्षित हुए
हम डरते है, नवीनता से, क्योकि यह अनदेखा है,
संदेह शुन्य नहीं है, विस्तृत नहीं है
मैं एक विचार हूँ।
मैं भय रहित हूँ, संघर्ष में मुझे आनंद आता है

~ अतिशय

God is Fake !

2008-11-18T11:42:00.008+05:30

God and Religion means nothing for me.
Existence of God may be a question for some people, but I have no confusion about this, I am very clear about God.
And I can bet on this that some day my theory would be proved absolutely true.

I believe that, there is some thing, some sort of super power in this universe which has created this world, which has filled the colors in flowers and sky.
That power has created this complex structure of Life.
I call it The Creator.
It has no shape, no size and it can not be seen by us. It’s like a cluster of Energy.
This Energy can Create and Destruct!!
Physics knows it.

We human being worship this Dead Physical Energy which has no life.
I don’t think there is any need of worshiping this power, because there is no logic.
It is not alive, it can not sense. It can not listen to us, it can not communicate.
It’s a Non-living assistant of human being.
We are superior to it.

Psychology proved that all living beings have sense of fear and curiosity.
Natural calamities are uncertain; & it comes without knocking the door.
Coward Human beings need some one who would help them in surmounting these natural difficulties.
Poor Human Being !!
Animals are still better, who fight with nature by their own.

So many super Hero’s are there in the Market, trust on any one and pray for help. All are ready to help you. Mahaveer, Budhha, Ram, Jesus and Allah.
Advance versions are also available like He-man, Super-man, and Poke-man.
Next Generations should light the candles before the statues and pictures of Spider-man and Harry Potter, if they wish to survive.

All contemporary Gods are as fake as these animated super heroz.
These gods also born in the mind of human beings, and our imaginations make us confident that Gods are real.
Ask any viewer of Cartoon Network who’s this Popeye the sailor man!! He would tell you everything about Popeye like he knows this person from years.

I don’t think we require any God or any Religion, but we should believe on our self.
Our parents may be wrong who believe on these imaginary Gods from past many years.
They consider unreal as real.
It’s a psychological problem that can not be treated easily.

Practice it from today; don’t utter the name of the God at the time of difficulty.
You are all alone at that moment of trouble.
Try to call Harry Potter, he may come to save you.

“Our forefathers made religions to give a direction to our uncivilized life. Religion taught us about sanitation and behavior. Now we have become civilized and know how to live a wonderful life. I think their mission has completed and this time is to celebrate.
Now we should search some new methods to maintain our progress towards the peak of human civilization.”

My Loutish Behavior

2008-10-08T15:21:00.007+05:30

These days my loutish behavior, peremptory tone, lousy comments and anomalous social behavior shocks those who are with me from last long time. People may find it bitter and new but it’s my unalloyed nature. It’s my mode of representation of me. I don’t have any ulterior motive behind this, it’s just gushing out from within. It may be my rotten resentment, that’s saturating my life with venom; or else my senses are out of order.
This is not the only thing that I’ve encountered but I have some other grips too like some times I do not recognize a thing even after all endeavors. I pressurize on my head but my memory bank shows inaccessibility pop up. My cerebrum receives and follows very unusual signals some times. It has obliterated my old and actual persona. I see and match assemblage of psychological diseases with my symptoms but nothing shows agreement. It may be some very rare unidentified sickness of its own kind.

Ecchymosized skin, balding forehead and angular leather bag of 206 bones aint showing any sign of improvement. Inviolability is pointless. So, I am returning to austerity from false contemporary blind impulses and alley. I wear clear white shirt and lawyerly black pants these days. Spend my time in reading, writing and professional duties. I meet and talk lesser number of people, and celebrate sitting alone on the window every evening.

Cancer Hospital

2008-10-04T15:08:00.007+05:30

Nasty smell of spirit and Medicines, aged brownish green walls, brooding strange silence in long veranda, vacant Out Patient Departments and worried ambience of the hospital were my daily companions. My day used to start with the morning call of my Tamil Sales Manager who used to hate Hindi and people from north India. He used to deliver his instruction in the packet of sarcasm and acrimony. There was no regional office of the company in Bangalore and not any other colleague to talk, to share my experiences and to exchange professional etiquettes. My duty was to promote the fungal drugs to the Medical practitioners and to convince them to prescribe these drugs to their Immune-suppressed departing patients.

Kidwai Oncological Institute* is situated at Hosur road*. It’s a very famous Cancer hospital which provides treatment on very low prizes to the poor patients. Almost bald, sick bodies covered in white cloths roam here and there across the length of the hospital. Coughing, spitting and crying with pain, were the patients of sever Cancer and AIDS.
I used to spend whole day among them as I used to meet the doctors in evening and morning shifts. There was only one canteen in the hospital premises which used to provide south Indian meals. South Indian meals consist of rise, sambhar, rasam, curd and some 2-3 other types of curies. Since there was not any other option available, I used to take meals in that canteen only, in the improperly washed plates and spoons with spooky cancer patients who were undergoing chemotherapy.

Out Patient Department is the place where Patients and people from Pharmaceutical companies wait hours for the doctor to meet up. Generally doctors do not appear even they commit, they send junior doctors to see the patient in place of them and Medical Representatives pay its toll. Same thing happened with me that day when no doctor was willing to come to OPD to see the patient. I reached to the hospital very early to meet the doctor before patients start coming. Doctor was not on the seat and both the benches were empty where patients sit. I asked a nurse about the doctor but she shrugged off in ignorance. It was 9 in the morning; I set on one of the bench and waited. Patients started to come and both the benches were full of people after one hour. They all were giveing me unusual stares and talking some thing in their outlandish language. Time was running fast but there was not any sign of the doctor. It was 12.30 after noon when first patient lost its endurance and decided to go to some other hospital to meet some other doctor. One by one patient was leaving because they had other options. I asked to the nurse again and she suggested me to sit till afternoon shift which starts at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Nurse also left the OPD.

There were almost 2 hours in between, so I stood up and start wondering and visiting different wards, seeing the notice boards and noticing all those corners of the hospital which I had never seen. Everything was so unattractive and repulsive. It all was catalyzing my afternoon dullness. I came back and set on the same bench in the same OPD. Now it was the complete silence in the hospital, there was no body around neither patients nor doctor and staff.

I observed a very slow sound of cry in that pin drop silence. Some body was screaming in deep pain. Pain was increasing as her cry was becoming louder and clearer. I tried to chase that ululation and I ran towards the veranda, it was a 35 year old poor woman sitting on the floor with her 4-5 year old child. To get her Rural identity her appearance was enough, probably she was from some nearby village of Bangalore. She was crying aloud and she closed her teary eyes.
She clenched her breasts in unbearable pain. That small child was too young to understand why his mother is crying, but his curious eyes were seeing continuously to his mother. He was also crying silently. It was difficult to leave her in that condition, I tried to ask her what she need but she was unable to understand Hindi and English. Kannada was the only language she knew. She deserved to get admitted in Intensive Care Unit immediately but there were no body around. I was running like headless chicken in the hospital for medical support but there was not a single person who could help me. I got one nurse in different department, I requested her to see that lady and call a doctor.

Nurse came with me to the veranda and as she saw that lady, she blurted out some abusive words in Kannada and asked her to go out of the hospital. Nurse rejected to help me for that woman ang got disappeared from that site. I was unable to understand the situation. I tried to communicate with her again but result was the same. One old man came to her and asked her to go back. Probably he was her father.
I asked to her father about the matter in Hindi. Luckily he understood and answered.
“We are very poor; we can not spend much on medicines. And she is my daughter; she has breast cancer from last one year. It’s getting severe day by day and doctors do not see her because we don’t have money. She needs treatment but drugs are so expensive, we have already sold all gold jewelry and finished bank balance. Now we have nothing.”

Old father started to cry as he finished his statement and them all three turned back and went off the hospital. I was standing still, giving them a vacant gaze. I was unable to speak anything. She was fighting with exquisite pain, and there was no body to help her.
I could feel her pain and an unknown fear in her child’s eyes. I was feeling very tired though i could not meet even a single doctor that day. I came out of the hospital and caught my bus to Malleshwaram*.

[* All the placese are situated at Bangalore, Karnatka (India)]

Culmination

2008-10-03T14:31:00.005+05:30

Everything reaches to its culmination. Get faded, get hazy and get disappeared eventually. It reaches to its ultimate rest, to its supreme unbounded destination, to its infinite home and this journey in between the two points is called life. The first point is the Genesis, the Origin.

It is astonishing how things mislay its gist, its glee and incredible charm after a certainty. Durability is an imaginary word as nothing is last longer. Longings, Sacrifices and Smugness are short-lived stories. Precedence of curiosity, yearning, association, relations and emotions are spanking new every day. Genes are programmed to climb up all the possible way while traveling towards culmination. It brings enlightenment to provide Variety to life. At the same time when things get hazy, some other things become vivid, flamboyant and clear. Anonymous new things scare and culmination brings awful sorrow and pain. Still things go on towards end. Towards culmination.

Light Delight

2008-09-09T14:25:00.002+05:30

Thousands of opportunities are knocking at my door these days, shouting, inviting, chasing. I can see so many new ways to proceed; all are full of light and colors. Nothing can restrict my way now; everything is following me as my slave. I have the power to surmount over difficulties; I have the confidence; I have the money.

Tanaa na na na, Tanaa na na...
I sing like Rock stars these days; I laugh like a nut: I sleep like a drunk. I have stopped caring for old and vanished. Vanity has no negative meaning for me as I hold a position and earned Identity. Colors of my dreams are getting brighter as number of fixed deposits; is increasing in my nationalized bank. Life does not scare me now.

She’s also around me, I know! Playing hide and seek, does not want to show her face with ease. She has promised me that she would come with all delights and bliss and fulfill each vacancy of my life. I am desperate to see her; I care for her.
I see myself relaxing with her in winter sunny day in my home-garden in my dreams. I am ensured about my future, now I do not need any one. I am strong enough, I am complete.

Change

2008-09-02T17:34:00.000+05:30

Walk, walk!! Forward!! It’s a race with time.
Time is changing incessantly, it challenges the sky.
Time is as alone as I am, but still it progress.
And I cry.

Face Changes, Reason changes and dates.
They all get converted into some thing else, made all endeavours and try.
They all lose it like me, but still they progress.
And I cry.

Yes she did right; she lived life and threw off oldness.
Everything is Pure and fresh and new around her, she learnt to enjoy.
She also misses those moments like me, but still she progress.
And I cry.

Atishay

Cadila

2008-08-27T16:21:00.002+05:30

My Work Place. My Corporate Office, where i work. Cadila Pharmaceutical Ltd., Bhat, Ahmedabad, Gujarat (India). Beautiful green campus situated at Bhat on Dholka road, 30 KM far from Ahmedabad. Red brick building, a small pond of water and big-small trees around;make this campus stunningly beautiful and provide excellent nurturing environment for work. This Beautiful campus is like a home for employees.Cadila has its own work culture and success stories, its among the oldest Pharmaceutical companies in India.

I am completing one year with this organisation. This tenure was very peaceful and i enjoyed it to the fullest. Ahmedabad is actually a nice place to live and people are very simple, and i can see its reflexion on Corporate also. I want to spend good amount of time with this organisation as it has taught me a lot.

Wishes Come True.

2008-08-23T13:30:00.000+05:30

Holy Verses from Bible as Reference to my Article:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

"For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:8

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?" Matthew 7:9

"Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?" Matthew 7:10

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:11

Wishes Come True.

2008-08-21T14:58:00.000+05:30

“Desire, when stems from the heart and spirit, when it is pure and intense, possesses awesome electromagnaetic energy. This energy is released into the ether each night, as the mind falls into the sleep state. Each morning it returns to the conscious state reinforced with the cosmic currents. That which has been imaged will surly and certainly be manifested. You can rely, young man, upon this ageless promise as surely as you can rely upon the eternally unbroken promise of sunrise and of spring.”
A P J Abdul Kalam, Wings of Fire.

Wishes come true.

Prayers never remain unfulfilled. It’s another fact that it takes good amount of time, but all wishes are certainly fulfilled. Generally people thank to God when a wish takes shape but I have seen the instances when people curse to God for it.

To wish a beautiful thing is easy but to handle it is very difficult some times. I am not a kind of person who forgets things so early like others. I preserve very minute details somewhere into my mind. Some times when I spent time without doing anything and relaxing, these memories comes out, and that time I realize things.

I have spent a stunning time in Amity during my MBA. Days when I always used to encircled with friends and used to consume precious happiness. Those days were incredible and unforgettable. I had never lived my life like that any time before in past. Some words like New Delhi, Amity and MBA became reality, these words used to give supreme pleasure to me when I used to pronounce them.
It took a while to identify and to make friends in Amity, but when I could figure them out, one year had almost passed. This was the time when we started to enjoy the company of filtered friends and we were struggling hard to deter unwanted people from our friend assemblage. It was roughly like vote-out elimination as it happence in Roadies.
Small groups of friends had all the qualities which a small society possesses. Love, hate, fight and gossips everything was there. I got a place in more than one society simultaneously and washed out good time socializing with these souls. This association gave proud some times and negativity many times. But as nobody remembers negativity, I would also not mention that all here. My achievements had also brought proud for some people and our bond became stronger. I did my summer training in a top company and collected all good credentials to make others to proud on me.
When everything go right in one’s life, one write poems, sing songs and observe the beauty of colorful flowers. Butterflies never appear before a person with broken heart and flowers never blossom before one who has seen tragedy recently. Luckily it was my good time.

One sunny day when green leaves were rustling and Amity Rock band was practicing for upcoming fests....

When I was sitting near canteen and sipping my tea....

When all East Indian guys were playing football, though FIFA 06 had finished....

When my friends were getting prepared for movie in hostels and I was waiting beneath only Victorian Lamp in common assembly....

Among this all I wished something. I remembered the God and thanked for that beautiful time.

“God I love this place, and do not want to leave it ever.”
My friends are here. Everything that I need for my life is here. I know one day I would have to leave this place but that would be the most difficult time of my life. I love my campus and hostel like heaven. How can I leave it?
I negotiated with God and continued my wish.
“God, I wish I would be the last person from my batch to left Amity, I want to be here till the last possible moment in Amity”
Without caring that God has approved my wish or not?...without thinking the outcomes of my wish, I forgot that moment and got engaged into my daily routines. Watched movie; ate wonderful food and enjoyed the time. Even one big consulting firm offered me a job that I could not accept.
Time is never same, good and bad time alternatively comes in one’s life. Same happened with me. Circumstances made me incapable to grab a good placement till the end, when every night I used to see celebration of placements in hostel. Hostel-mates were going one by one leaving the hostel. I used to see them off to the auto. Day came when almost everyone had left the hostel but I was still unplaced, I was still staying in the hostel.
College asked me to stay back till any company come to the campus but Hostel refused to extend my stay and they thrown me off on the last day of the educational session.
As I signed off, hostel warden winded up the account of students for old educational session. Officially I was the last student who left the hostel in that session. I would never forget that day when I left Amity. That day I was all alone, and there was no body to see me off.

My friends who were staying out side the campus gave me a temporary stay in their flat and in that 15 day of free stay I grabbed one job. Though that company was not ready to pay me well, but I did not have any other option.
My last days in Amity were not memorable. I spent those days being unplaced, when each and every friend was placed somewhere through college. I have observed the changing behavior towards me of the same people who were proud on my achievements some months before.
In last 4 months in amity I could not observe blossoming flowers, rustling leaves and colorful butterflies. I could not see even a single movie in this period, I could not enjoy.
But yes I was in Amity.
On the very last day, when I was about to leave that place for good, I visited my campus, my hostel and canteen. I was sitting beneath the same Victorian Lamp, sipping tea and observing newcomers. That day I was in peace, mind was relaxed and I was getting nostalgic. I thought why it happened to me, when all my class-mates have already joined the companies, they have started to work and I am fighting for a job. Why this uncertainty? I was analyzing sitting all alone.
Amity was unchanged. Same buildings, same evening tea.

It would be the same in years to come; only I would not be here.

In this familiar ambience I remembered my forgotten wish.
Oh!
Complete sketch was before my eyes, it was the answer. Once I negotiated with God and he given me what I demanded. I was the last person from my whole class who was still here in Amity. I stayed till the last day in my hostel. It means, I could stay more than anyone in Amity from my batch, which was precisely my wish.
It came true, but it brought pain with it. I cursed the God for it, why he allowed my wishes to be fulfilled. Now I never wish, never desire. I have left all the things upon the God. I only wish for Happiness and peace for everyone.

Utsav

2008-08-15T21:54:00.000+05:30

उत्सव समीपता को सूचित करता है, तिथि अर्थ हीन है.
तिथिया उत्सव की असीमितता को विराम देती है। समीपता रक्त संबंधियों और मित्रो आदि से सम्भव है.. क्योकि अपरिचित नवीनता प्रसन्नता नही लाती , भय लाती है. और धर्म ऐसे ही अपरिचित, अज्ञानियों को अपना ग्रास बनता है॥

तो धर्म और उत्सव साथ साथ हो ही नही सकते॥ धर्म होगा तो भय होगा, उत्सव नही॥

समीपता में आनंद है, भय नही है। धर्म नही है। उत्सव है।

Bomb Blast

2008-07-30T12:12:00.000+05:30

[यह कहानी काल्पनिक है तथा इसका किसी जीवित या मृत व्यक्ति, स्थान तथा घटना से कोई सम्बन्ध नही है. This story is Fictitious and it has no resemblance with any living or dead person, place or incidence.]

26 July 2008, Saturday

“I’ ll wear my new blue-stripe-white-stripe cotton shirt।” I decided.
Saturday is the only day when we can wear anything to office, a casual day, a half day.
Day starts early and ends at noon. People start weekend jubilation as they cross the main gate of the corporate office at one o’clock. But some unfortunate people stay in office even on this day till midnight, for meetings with bad tempered Managers and spoil their weekends.
Fortunately I never stay on Saturdays till 3 o’clock in the night like others.

“Wow..Looking good, I am sure this shirt is going to prove your lucky shirt” Himanshu said.
Oh, I wish the same.
Well, today I am coming in afternoon. Just be ready we are going to watch movie at 10 Acres Mall, Raipur. And then would take our dinner at Vastrapur.
“OK, you go, you are getting late.” Himanshu interrupted and made me alert.
OK, see you.
“Bye” Himanshu waved his hand.
* * * * * * * *

Ahmedabad is a beautiful city, and it’s developing at a very fast pace. Huge buildings, highways and flyovers give the similar feeling as you get in any metro like Delhi or Mumbai. It’s a city of malls; almost all National and International brand outlets are present in this city. People are very colorful by nature, they love to have good food and drive big cars.
“Guys we have a meeting today with our Manager, be prepared, he can call us any time.”
My boss announced at 8 am as we entered into office.
Everyone of my team was silent, and we were seeing the faces of one another. Nobody noticed my blue-stripe-white-stripe cotton shirt.
“Sir, meeting on Saturday, you mean, today we are going to be sacrificed?” I said.
“I don’t know, you prepare your presentation, and come on my desk at 11 sharp.” Boss fixed the order.
Oh, no man! That manager would spoil our whole day, its 9.30 am. We have a plan to watch any latest movie this evening. I don’t think he would leave us any time before 3 o’clock in the night.
Tension spread everywhere, and all started to finish the work.
All plans of movie and dinner were crushed before my eyes.

I and my team members completed our work on time. But there was no call from the side of our Manager. People started to leave the office at one o’clock, but we were waiting.
It was 6.20 pm in the evening but we were still waiting. By now there was no body in office except by boss and 3 other team members.

Bhat where this corporate office is situated is almost 45 KM away from Ahmedabad, and staff buses are the only mean to reach Ahmedabad.
“Trin, Trin” My mobile phone screamed.
“Are you all right?” Amit said.
Yes, why what happened, why are you so scared? I am alright, and still in office.
“Aeti, Terrorists have attacked on Ahmedabad, total 7 serial blasts till now.” Amit informed me and asked to take care of myself.
This news shocked me and every one sitting around. All 4 of us ran to call our family members, to inform that we are safe, but network was busy.

We were all tiered and this news made us very upset.
Mobile networks got bad to worse after some minutes. We were totally out of contact of anyone in the world.
Our Manager was still in some event and we were waiting for his call for presentation.
As night was getting dark, number of blasts was increasing…10, 12 14 and 16.
“Its 10 pm, what do you think Guys ? what should we do..?” Jignesh said.
I could understand his situation; he was out of contact of his family. His wife is also working and children go to school. And bombs are blasting at every corner of the city.
“Let me call him now, we can not stay here all night.” I said.
I tried two-three times but he did not receive my phone. At fourth time he answered that he’s still in an event and he can not come for meeting.
“It’s 11 o’clock, he has spoiled our whole day, I want to kill him.” I was not in my senses.
“Now let’s go fast and let’s not waste even a single minute.” Boss shouted.
Sarkhej, Juhapura, APMC nothing is safe, blasts are everywhere. Sarkhet Char Rasta is even blocked, we are stuck badly.
“I’ll suggest you to take the car to Fun Republic via Bopal.” Jignesh Suggested.
Since way to shivranjani char rasta via Juhapura is blocked, Sarkhej is blocked. Only through Bopal we can go. It’s quite obvious, but everyone’s cerebrum was so engrossed into something else.
Boss turned his car towards Bopal, and switched on the Radio Button.
“Please tolerate with us, its difficult time. Ignore rumors and try not to move outside your home.” Every Radio Station was requesting.
We were crossing Chand chaukri, near Sarkhej gaon. Some shops were open and everything was normal.
Jignesh asked my boss to stop the car near cigarette shop, so he can take his dose of cigarette for rest of the night. We all came out of the car, and jignesh asked for cigarettes to shopkeeper.
I checked my mobile network, but it was not catching network.
All of a sudden I heard a deafening sound and become all most unconscious. I was standing straight but I was unable to hear anything, unable to speak anything. Bad poisonous smell of explosive material and smoke traumatized me completely.
It was a bomb blast.
Scene converted into similar bomb blast site as I have seen many times on Television. Broken glasses, dead bodies, blood every where, crying people and smoke.
I was not standing too far from the bomb, but it was a low intensity bomb, and God saved me and my team members.
My boss pushed me into Car and we left the site in a split second. He left me at my door step and without speaking anything he went off.
I pushed door bell, Himanshu opened the door.
I could not speak anything. He understood everything.
He saw my teary eyes.
He saw my gory Blue-stripe-white-stripe cotton shirt.
[* Gory (Adj.) Covered with Blood.]

Sawan

2008-07-26T17:04:00.001+05:30

Though Vasant is the king of all seasons, but Sawan has its own significance. It’s the most delightful time when festivals resume it's journey and people spend their time to gratify Siva. Kawariye travel miles and block Delhi-Meerut highway every year. Married women come back to spend this wonderful time with their kith and kin to their Peehar... When brothers hang the swings on tall trees for their sisters and mothers prepare Gujiya, pede and Ghewar.

Amazing blend of Fragrance of Dhoop and ghee used in Hawans and echo of melodious sweet-sounding Mantras make air divine. People arrange Satya Narayn Ki katha and Ramayana path at their homes to sanctify the whole atmosphere. Sawan ka Bazaar has its beauty, which is worth experiencing. Colorful rakhies, sweets and gift items decorate the Bazaar and magnetize children and young girls.
Sawan is known for its unstoppable perpetual rain. Rivers flow with disastrous speed and assimilate everything that comes its way. People avoid traveling far and prefer to spend maximum time with loved ones. Cold-windy-Rainy atmosphere create a perfect romantic scene as we have seen several times in Hindi cinema. People prefer to eat something healthy and avoid outside food completely because of rainy season. Different dishes made up of corn like Bhutte ka Faluda and Bhutte ke bade with green chili sauce or tomato sauce pull everyone. Ginger tee with friends at a remote area in a heavy rain is an ultimate fantasy of everyone.
Sawan is good time for business either. People purchase Gold and cloths for their loved sisters on the day of Raksha Bandhan which comes on Poornima of Sawan. Raksha Bandhan is the festival of eternal love of brother and sister. Devotees fast every Monday in Sawan to please Great Shiva and on the 8th day of shukla paksha of this month they celebrate birth of Shri Krishna called Janmashtmi. People sing all night and rejoice with family members. Farmers sleep peacefully as they get natural irrigation to their paddy fields and ground nuts. In short, Sawan brings all kind of happiness and blessings with it.

Today is my birthday

2008-07-23T17:43:00.001+05:30

आज मेने जीवन के २५ साल पूरे कर लिए है, इन २५ सालो का अनुभव मेरे आने वाले जीवन को दिशा देगा.. आज मेरा जन्म दिन है॥ मैं स्वतंत्र हूँ , किसी से कोई अपेक्षा नही है॥ आनंद है॥

मित्रो और परिवार जनों के बधाई संदेश लगातार प्राप्त हो रहे है॥ मैं सभी का बहुत आभारी हूँ..

Lonely Night

2008-07-21T17:30:00.001+05:30

Sweater covers one’s actual persona in winters, and people like me who are blessed with thin graceful body, get utmost advantage of it. Gangs of beefy guys give temporary admission to thick sweater-covered thin bodies in their societies and treat likewise.
Girls, who have never noticed these creatures, also start seeing them. It gives similar pleasure to this thin people's community as NASA scientists get every time they see a new star with possibility of life, in the galaxy. It’s another fact that we know winter ends in the month of February in India, just before Valentine’s Day.

It was the time of winters, when I was spending a significant time of the day in Canteen and trying to represent myself as the most cheery person on the earth.
My face had started to shine and I had stopped missing my parents and friends. Two dark black eyes and rosy cheeks were continuously following me, in the canteen, in the Biotechnology block and in common Computer lab. I knew some one is seeing me from some corner of this campus all the time. It was an unusual feeling of delight. It had never happened to me any time before, so it was not too easy to handle it. Uncomfortable Sleepless nights realized me first time that I am in love.
“I’ll ask her name this time.” I decided.
She must be a Kashmiri girl otherwise it’s difficult to find a girl with rosy cheeks anywhere else in India.
I came out of my dreamland as RD entered the room.
“I am going Agra this evening” He said.
Hey, don’t you know Jal is coming all the way from Pakistan to participate in engineering fest. It’s going to be a lifetime experience. Sandy and Monil are already in Jaipur, I would be all alone here.
“I am not much interested in fests, my girl friend is important for me. I would prefer to give some time to her.”
Ok! No problem but when are you coming back to Noida?
“I would come back on the same day, when these fests would finish.” RD said with confidence, though every one knew in the hostel that RD would never come before minimum 15 day of stay in Agra.

* * * * * * * * * *
Killing instinct of freezing winters of Delhi is well known. And a fogy icy night was ideal for a red hot performance of a Pakistani Rock Band in Amity.
I was almost alone among so many known-unknown young girls and boys. This crowd was made up of so many small-small bunches of friends and class-mats and I was the only matchless person in this crowd who can not be fit, in any of the group.
Night was full of stars, and music made it Romantic.
It is not important that everyone should have a girl friend in Amity, but yes without friends you won’t survive.
I know some engineering guys from my hostel, but they have got their own friends, jargon language and group talks. They would feel uncomfortable if I go and stand with them.
“Being without a girlfriend is the biggest curse in Amity.” I thought, accepted my state and decided to be alone all night.
Jal started its performance with its most famous song, “Adat”
Everyone started to shout in jubilation and whole campus converted into some distant musical island of fantasy.
One magnetic supremacy made me turn back and I confronted those two dark black eyes and rosy cheeks, which were seeing towards me from the deepness of the crowd.
She did not waste that moment and captured my photograph in her Camera.
I turned back again but she was continuously staring at me.
Now, I was not alone, though there was enough distance between us.
“I don’t know her name. I don’t have any idea about her.”
“Who’s she?” I thought.
Questions would be solved but these precious moments won’t come again. This philosophy replaced all thoughts and her two dark eyes and rosy cheeks engrossed my attention. Rock made me completely hypnotized.
All of a sudden it started to rain and crowed rushed towards some better place to save them selves from rainy water.
Rock concert finished.
When I Came out of hypnosis, she was not there. I tried my best to find her but she was no where.
* * * * * * *
It was a surprise for everyone that RD came back just in 3 days.
He came with home-made food and Punchhi’s Petha which is world famous sweet item from Agra.
“It’s all for you.” RD handed over petha box to me.
Wow! I love it, but can I ask one question from you? How come you returned in just three days this time? I said.
“Actually I am feeling sorry; I should had not go to Agra this time as you were all alone here. I understand it’s very difficult to stay alone in hostel without any friend.” RD said.
Come on RD, nothing is like that.
“So you enjoyed the fest?” RD was surprised.
Yes, Supremely.
“With whom you spent your time?” RD investigated.
I was alone you know very well.
RD was staring at me.
And my eyes were sparkling.

Road Cross

2008-07-18T12:39:00.001+05:30

That night, I was delighted. I was trying to cross the road.

When night was of too many hours, dark was excessively deep and Alcohol was running in my veins.I could only hear acute cry of horns of creeping cars. There was not any human figure as far as I could see except Sandy.

It was our own decision to go back to the place where we get ultimate relief after taking excessive amount of booze and weed. We tried so many times to put our foot forward to reach another side of the road, but we could not make it.

We were not talking much, probably because our minds were busy in relatively difficult task of crossing the road, or probably because we were not able to understand strange language of one another. Sandy was speaking like he has spent so many years in Egypt and he has forgotten Hindi pronunciations. I am sure this was the reason why he did not understand what I was trying to communicate all that evening. Nevertheless, we were together, fighting with the ultimate clash.

Because of my sleeping senses and short sightedness of my two eyes I was not able to calculate the precise distance of the coming cars to us. I could only see some light producing running objects which would kill both of us if we would take no notice of them.

“Do not go back, stay here tonight” were the words of worried Ani whom we have ignored some minutes ago.
I have never thought that crossing a damn road can be so difficult, but what to do?
I can not put a single step ahead.“Can’t we rest here only tonight, on this divider?” I asked Sandy.

He looked at me quizzically and made another unsuccessful attempt to cross it.“Sandy it’s 9.50 already, they will not allow us to enter after 10, u know na?” I asked.

Sandy did not speak anything, but his expressions assured me that we would reach.

“Time is bad, everything is bad, and nothing is in my favor”. My mind was replete with anger, and these repeated attempts and incapability made me furious.

“Who drives these cars at this time of night”,

“Can’t they go home and sleep? Is it really very important to roam around all the night on this express highway?”

“Where they go by the way?”

Suicidal instinct born in such unstable minds, and same happened with me. I decided to cross the road before my watch says 10.

Yes I would cross the road, my blood was boiling, I hate these Delhi people who roam all night on roads of Noida and Delhi, I’ll teach them a lesson one day.

I closed my eyes and ran across the road, Sandy tried to stop me and he followed to catch me. One restless, unstoppable car tried its best to control over it, but a sudden massive stroke thrown both of us 10 foot away in a dirty depression.

Unconscious Sandy was still saying “Are you alright?”

“Sandy don’t worry about me, I am alright” that was the last sentence I could speak investing my all effort.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Sun light was making me uncomfortable.

Familiar laughter made me questioning to know where the heck I am. And where is Sandy?

I left my bed in a nano second and run towards Sandy’s room.

He was sleeping on his own bed with vast relax.

Door was open, and Ani was talking to his girlfriend on his cell phone.

Meri Kavita

2008-07-17T14:57:00.001+05:30

कुछ कविताये हमारी संवेदनाओ को स्वर देती है॥ यह एक ऐसी ही कविता है , जो अटल बिहारी वाजपई जी ने लिखी है
वर्ष भर पूर्व परिस्थितियां वर्तमान से बिल्कुल भिन्न थी, मन व्यथित था, असंतुष्ट था॥ जब यह कविता मेरे मन की दशा थी, २००७ के प्रकोप का प्रतिबिम्ब थी॥ समय बीत चुका है, जीवन मैं संगीत है, उत्सव है॥ मन शांत है, और यह कविता मेरे साथ है॥

Say some thing.

2008-07-16T11:41:00.000+05:30

मैं आपके विचार, आपकी प्रतिक्रिया जानना चाहता हूँ. कुछ कहिये ..आपको इस तस्वीर को देख कर क्या विचार आता है ?

blog

2008-07-15T13:57:00.001+05:30

When my Blog came into existence, I started to get so many wonderful responses and comments from viewers. Some people appreciated my thoughts and a few were amazed with my way of writing. Compliments like “Evolving writer” gave mix feeling of joy and relief. Now I can continue my work in a selective direction, though viewers would not be so curious all the time. Some people have asked me to write something about them in my Blog, which I’ll do in coming time for sure.

Birthday

2008-07-12T12:53:00.001+05:30

My birthday comes in July, when it rains and sun takes rest somewhere in black and white clouds. Brooding silence captures the whole town when some one through buckets of water from the sky. Old buildings look dull and its walls turn green. Humid cold atmosphere, lonely muddy streets outside and that I-Don’t-Want-To-Go-Anywhere attitude and among this all saccharine smell of Mom-made Cake! Uff.I used to spend whole day at home with Mom-Dad, preparing for evening’s party, Desperate to change my old cloths, and get up new dress that papa has purchased for me for my birthday. And I used to wait for evening when everyone would say that I look good in my new dress, they say every year…!!!! Don’t know why people do not give the same comment when I wear the same dress again on an ordinary day, probably people observe me minutely only on my birthday.So many people used to come to wish me on my birthday, some were invited and some to show their concern. But everyone used to talk about me and I used to get princely treatment at least for a day. To give ostentatious and pricey gifts to each other has never been a tradition in my family; rather we purchase all that we required from long time back. Birthday attendees also never used to come with good gifts, relatives and old attendees used to prefer to give 50rs bill and their blessings which also papa used to take back after party. My friends used to appear empty hands generally, and some times with a cheap greeting card with wrong spelling of my name in it.Childhood gone but tradition has not changed; still I celebrate my birthday, give huge parties to my friends but never get ostentatious gift in glittering red pack. Month of monsoon has arrived and streets have started to become muddy. Level of humidity of atmosphere has indicated that my day’s coming. I am far from my Mom and Home but I am sure she would cook a sweet smelling cake on the same day this time also, and each object of my home would celebrate my birthday like every year.

All about me

2008-07-11T14:21:00.001+05:30

I feel I am the most common person in this world without any good quality that makes one separate from others. If I’ll not scream loud, nobody would listen to me, nobody would even remember me. So, as I came to know different ways to attract attention of the world, I started to practice them long time ago and during my teenage I became master of it. Yes, those methods have been changed time to time according to the suitability of my age and social brackets. I don’t think I’m the only person who’s doing this all to grab the attention of others, but there are many. In my childhood I used to cry aloud, now I write for the same purpose.
I have been an average boy since my early childhood in almost all areas like studies, sports and in social life. I have never been important for anyone anywhere except my mom-dad and my brother. To get importance from one’s blood relations is not an achievement, so I want to achieve that importance from my friends, my society and from my surroundings. I always try hard to become a small brick of construction of life of my friends, society and surroundings, because only then people will ask me. Probably I am taking benefit of their dependency on me, but it ain’t actually very true, as everyone is dependent on one-another for different needs like food and love. And if I have any of things which are required by others then I become a resource for them. If I get Importance and love out of it, then it is my gift to enjoy.
My inferiority made me superior in all walks. I used to see others, doing so many outlandish things, which I have never tried before. It made me curious and desperate to feel and touch those things closer than others. But most of my fantasies were proved wrong. Things that only glitter from distance…had not actual value. Now I am upon everything, I can think and decide my way to proceed further. Now I can identify right and wrong without taking anyone’s help and I have enough courage to go against everyone. I don’t believe what my parents and everyone says about God and its existence, its all fake, I know! I decide what is right or wrong. Everyone has developed its level of thinking, like me. So why to count on others for personal decisions and likings.
‘Tis my turn to show the world what’s there into me, what they could not identify and what they have ignored.
Death of my friend taught me a great lesson of life, about its uncertainty and meaninglessness. Every moment that we spend makes our life actually, then why to compromise for all that we like to do. I left nothing for tomorrow but celebrate at the moment to the fullest. Traveling is my passion and I love to see new places. I love to associate with those people who wish to replace their dull life with new colures.

My Brother.

2008-07-10T13:40:00.001+05:30

Sometimes we look in all the wrong places and to all the wrong people to get the support we need. It has taken me a while to learn that friendship can be found closer than you think, even in your own home. Growing up, I knew I always had a great friend in my brother. Besides the biological connection we share, there's the common ground and shared history that has kept my brother and me bonded.
The role of the elder brother is often one of setting the right example and being the model for younger to follow. My bro has ever followed d right n ethical path in his life and always inspired me to follow d same!!! He has ever followed d teachings of our parents in true sense!!!He’s very mature, earnest, Calm, Composed. He’s brilliant n truly a learner!!! what I remember best about our childhood is that we used to play together n he used to practice all his newly learnt tricks on me!!! He has ever taught me sums of Mathematics on d previous nights of final examinations, without him it was just next to none to pass d exams….He’s my support system, power house of energy. He’s d live wire of our family. In his own special way he has blessed me for a life time…I want to confess that I’m what I’m because I’ve a brother like him !!!!!

My city Chhindwara.

2008-07-10T10:07:00.002+05:30

Searching Chhindwara on India’s Map..?? It’s so simple, just see closely to India’s map and decide the precise center point of the country. You’ll get vibrant Chhindwara. .Isn’t it so simple..??? Yes similarly it’s very easy to understand Chhindwara’s nature and culture. Geographically it’s located at 22.07o N 78.93o E as a part of state of Madhya Pradesh, touching the borders of Maharashtra. Majority of the population of Chhindwara is Hindi speaking but Marathi and English are also other popular spoken languages. Interiors of district Chhindwara are predominantly tribal areas but main town has mixed population, almost all casts and religions are easily found in the urban area. Chhindwara have got this name because one plant species called Chhind locally, which looks almost like a plant of dates. This plant found significantly in the city. Great Satpuda hills sanctify it with immense greenery, wild life and Biodiversity. Patalkot and Tamia has been area of research of Medicinal plants from last long time which has attracted the attention of not only Indian but of International scientists also. Bhariya and Bheels are the original natives of this land who are also studied extensively for their traditional knowledge of treatment of diseases and their unmatchable cultural rituals. Western part of Chhindwara is rich with coal and it has been a big coal producing area from last many decades. Chhindwara has been a significant political territory for all the major political parties, it becomes a perfect political arena during the time of Parliament elections and the whole India give an eye on the results of this important seat. City Chhindwara is developing at a very fast pace with huge infrastructure and latest educational achievements. Danielson College, Government P.G. College, Girls College and Satpuda College are providing latest educational courses. Whereas, NIIT is giving professional education along with awesome placements. When we talk about spirituality, Chhindwara is not legging behind. It has given birth to Great Spiritual gurus like Nirmala Devi who has enlightened the world with Sahaj Yoga. Nirmala Devi’s ashram at her birth place has become the center for international devotees. In nutshell, Chhindwara is a place which is specially blessed by the god with liveliness, beauty and diversity.